


#Dog-vengers

by Hal_is_absolutely_not_ladylike



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Multi, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Puppies, all relationships just vaugly hinted at, half comics half mcu, pre civil war, some people may be ooc but this is a crack fic so go with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 12:14:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4666164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hal_is_absolutely_not_ladylike/pseuds/Hal_is_absolutely_not_ladylike
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki causes some, adorable and admittedly very small scale, mayhem, and there are lots of dogs in the Avengers tower. All Kate can do is laugh and post photos on Instagram.</p>
            </blockquote>





	#Dog-vengers

When Loki shows up unannounced it’s usually not a good day, when he shows up drunk and unannounced, well if you ask Kate it leads to literally the funniest day of her life, the rest of the avengers are less amused about it.

The evening started out normally enough for an avenger movie night, there was some squabbling about what movie they were going to watch, and if they all needed their own bowls of popcorn, and where the hell everyone was going to sit, but eventually as usual they figured it out and sat down to watch their movie. Audrey Hepburn as Eliza Doolittle was almost finished singing about wanting Henry Higgins to die when Loki popped in to ruin the moment. Which of course caused a massive commotion of people reaching for weapons and swearing.

“Mother fucker”

“Shit”

“Пошел на хуй!”

“You are ruining my movie you butt plug”

“Dick hole”

“Хуй тебе!”

Loki being drunk just giggled at this and waved his glowing green hands at the group, before he disappeared. Nothing happened, everyone looked at one another confused, and started laughing.

“Why are you all laughing like maniacs?” Kate asked as she came back from the bathroom (Clint had picked his favorite movie so she had seen it enough to know what she was missing).

“Loki just showed up giggled and waved his hands at us and disappeared but nothing happened so we’re good.” Sam explained.

“Let’s rewind the movie so Katie-Kate can see the whole song.” Clint said excitedly petting Lucky.

“No I’m good Clint”

“How about we just go back to where Loki came in okay?” Rhodey suggested.

“Aww, okay.”

So they rewound, and watched the rest of the long movie in peace before going to their separate floors to sleep.

 

It wasn’t until the morning they realized that Loki had done something, it had just taken a while to work. Technically Kate was the only one to realize something had happened because the rest of the avengers, earth’s mightiest heroes, were dogs.

At first Kate didn’t think anything of it when she saw a big yellow lab in the kitchen, she just thought it was Lucky. Except when she went back to her room Lucky was asleep on her bed, and when she went back out to the kitchen the lab had been joined by a large thin faced white and red fluffy dog.

“Uhm… Hello?” The dogs looked at her, the lab’s tongue rolled out. “Hello nice doggies, come here let’s see if we can find Clint and Natasha and the can explain why they got more dogs without telling me.” She checked their room but no luck and since they weren’t in the floors common space they were either on the avenger’s group floor or in the gym. Kate hoped they weren’t in the gym when they spared against each other things usually got a little tense on their floor because the looser (Clint) would spend the next week trying to sneak attack Nat, yeah that never worked.

“Come here!” Kate called out standing near the elevators hoping the dogs were somewhat trained and would listen to her. Thankfully both the dogs, and Lucky, showed up. “All right Jarvis elevator. Come on guys come here in the elevator.” She eventually got them in. “Group floor please Jarvis.” The elevator moved swiftly up. “Why does Clint always make big life decisions and then only tell me about them when they have gone to shit and he needs my help?” She looked at the dogs “every god damned time.” She sighed.

 

The sight Kate was greeted with on the group floor was not one she would soon forget. There was a truly tiny long haired blond dachshund barking its head off at a Scotty dog who was returning those barks just as viciously, while the smaller dogs were held back by a dark brown three legged pit-bull and a large tan brown dog respectively. There was a blue merle Great Dane trying to cower in the corner, Thor was towering over the dogs shouting at space or something, (Kate was really tired okay she just got up for some water not all this bull shit) and a very pretty Australian shepherd that trotted up to her and started to heard her and the dogs over to the group.

“Uhm Thor care to explain what’s happening here?” Kate asked hoping he had some answers.

“Ahh Friend Kate it is good to see someone not affected by my brothers trickery” Kate leaned down to pick up the agitated little wiener dog “I wouldn’t advise that friend Bucky is very protective of the captain in this form.”

“You are telling me this angry little wiener dog is Steve. Captain America is a wiener dog?!?”

“I was lead to believe they were called dachshunds, but yes that is the captain.” He bends down to give the little blond dog a scratch below the chin, the d- Steve growls at him but the three legged pit-bull that is apparently Buck flops him on to his side with his snout.

“Okay that is adorable… so does that mean… everyone else is a dog right?”

“Yes, oh and I see you brought friends Clint and Natasha with you, and Lucky as well. Good good.” Thor smiled.

“Well that’s fun… uhm have you tried to contact Loki because he was here last night and did something that they thought was nothing but now their dogs soooo”

“I have been trying to contact him to fix his trickery, but alas it has been to no avail.”

“All right so we need to do something more practical with these guys while you try to contact Loki, I doubt Tony wants dog shit all over the place.” The Scotty dog barked in agreement, Kate looked at it “So that one is definitely Tony it has the same facial hair, the Great Dane has to be Bruce because I am pretty sure I have seen him make that same expression post fight. So which one of the other two is Rhodey and which is Sam?”

“They know who they are and respond to their names.” Thor informed her.

“You’re telling me the dogs know who they are and I still had to carry Clint in to the elevator three times, CLINT!” The large lab dashed behind the couch. “You are in so much shit when you are a person again.” Thor chuckled and dog-Natasha looked at Kate like she should have known. “Okay Nat you know what I don’t need your doggy judgement right now.” The Australian shepherd that had greeted them came over to Kate and nuzzled her leg, she sat down and pet him.

Soon the other dogs, minus Clint and Lucky, came over and were enjoying all the pets and attention Kate could give them. Clint and Lucky looked like they were having a conversation about, well if Kate had to guess pizza. Thor eventually convinced his brother to come down and look at his handiwork and reverse it. Yeah Thor should have known that was too easy.

About two minutes after he showed up Loki waved his hands at Thor and turned him in to a very large very fluffy tan and black dog. Which of course caused Kate to laugh, which in retrospect was probably the only reason Loki didn’t also turn her in to a dog.

“So please tell me that this isn’t permanent, right?”

“No there is not magic to permanently change the shape of a living creature to that of another, at most it can last around a year, but this will only last 24 hours without the person having a desire for it to stay.”

“Cool okay so second question are you planning on invading in the next day or so, because if you are I have to go make some calls, and like a spider signal, or something.”

“It would not be much of a fight, I have more interesting things so do.”

“Fun okay good luck with that.” Kate smiled faux-excitedly. Pleased with that response Loki disappeared to presumably go fuck shit up elsewhere.

 

After that it just dissolved in to Kate cuddling, petting, playing with, and taking pictures of the dogs. She even started a side Instagram called dog-vengers and tagged the actual avenger’s official accounts in photos of them as dogs. The photos went viral quickly, there was a hashtag, and people started tweeting at the avenger’s official accounts to see if they had adopted dogs, some were distressed not to get a response.  

There were also a number of discoveries made about the avengers. 1. Despite being possibly the cutest dog there (sorry Sam) Steve did not want to cuddle with anyone but Bucky. 2. Clint was just as dumb and clumsy in dog form as he was in human. 3. Natasha was surprisingly awkward and goofy looking as a dog. 4. Sam was just as much of a flirt as a dog as he was a human. 5. Thor is a very melodramatic huffy puppy, who likes lots of belly pets, and to have his hair brushed. 6. Liho Natasha’s cat hates dog Natasha, but loves dog Rhodey. Dog Rhodey is very accommodating, and happy to keep the cat from murdering them all. 7. When Steve wanders out of his line of sight Bucky whines loudly until he returns, it is fucking pitiful, and 1000% effective. 8. Dog Steve looks real dumb when he runs. 9. Tony is just as annoying in dog from as he is in human, and not nearly cute enough to make up for it. 10. Bruce is more graceful than anyone else in his dog from, which makes Kate sad because of how quickly he can adapt to having his body taken over by something he doesn’t control. 11. When Kate has left over pizza for lunch Lucky and Clint work together to try and steal slices for themselves, they fail and are judged harshly by the rest of the group for it. 12. Dog Bucky loves pets, cuddles, and does not respect personal space. 13. Steve’s human puppy dog eyes are on par with actual dog puppy dog eyes. 14. Whenever anyone tries to leave (mostly Tony) Sam herds them back away from the elevator.

Eventually, after all the dog’s have tired themselves out and are taking naps or at least not actively causing chaos, Kate did a bit of googling and decided, fuck it, she could just gave them all bowls of Lucky’s food. The only dog that was excited about the kibble was Lucky, but the others grudgingly ate. Then there was a large amount of herding the dogs in to the elevator (even with Sam’s excited and apparently instinctual help it took a while), but Kate got them all up to the roof garden, to fertilize the plants and pee everywhere before bed. She felt a bit bad about not picking up the dogs poo but frankly 10 dogs produced a very large amount of poop.

The group retired to the communal floor for the evening, Kate didn’t think Sam would like having his heard split up. Yet again Kate's hope of one big doggie cuddle pile were dashed as the herd split of in to splinter groups to sleep. Steve and Bucky made a pretty damn cute doggy version of little spoon big spoon. Clint flopped down next to Lucky who was similarly sprawled recklessly. Natasha mad herself a surprisingly small circle near Clint. Bruce had gotten a hold of a blanket somewhere and had draped it over himself. Tony was on the couch. Rhodey was also on the couch but he had Liho curled on top of him. Thor had found a way to take up more space than Kate thought possible, and Sam was of course guarding the elevator. Kate took a few more pictures for Instagram and made her way to the other couch for the evening.

 

The next morning Kate woke up first and discovered Bucky fucking Barnes was one lucky man, Pepper probably didn’t have a lot to complain about in that department either, and Sam, well let’s just say he has a pretty good reason to be confidant. Before Kate had a chance to see if Rhodey was also, shall we say, gifted a bot appeared carrying blankets, and Jarvis said quietly

“So no one is unduly embarrassed when they wake ma’am.”

“Always ruining my fun.” Kate mumbled, as she took the blankets and gently tossed them over people’s crotches, and Barton’s whole body (she had seen that man naked to many times). She was a little bit sad Thor was still a dog because, well, he was the Norse god of fertility, but she was also thankful Bruce had gotten himself a blanket because he kind of looked like her dad and she didn’t want to see that.

Everyone else woke up slowly, when they were all awake they had lots of questions, but Kate only had one response.

“So… Bucky was your family Jewish or was that Hydra?” She made a vague gesturing motion to her crotch. “Also like congrats on that by the way. And Steve was that all you or a bit of the serum, no wait don’t tell me I want to think it was all you.” Bucky ever the pragmatist answered her,

“Jewish, thanks, and all Stevie, it was like he had a kickstand.”

“Oh my God Bucky STOP!” Steve’s whole body was the color of a tomato.

“Now can we have some answers?” Bucky continued.

“Sure.”

“Okay the big fluffy bear dog is Thor right?” Kate nodded. “Loki did this?” More nodding. “Why did it only last one day?”

“Loki said something cryptic about it being able to last for a year but only if the person wanted it to, so I guess none of you wanted to be dogs.” Kate shrugged.

“What the hell is #Dog-vengers?” Tony asked.

“Oh I may have Instagramed a few photos of you guys as dogs, you were so cute I had to share.”

“Why is there a second hashtag YippyTony?”

“You were very vocal, it was an accurate tag.” Tony huffed.

“Well at least one good thing came of this.”

“What?” Steve asked.

“We got Robocop’s murder arm off without surgery.”

“Oh Yeah” Bucky remarked as he and everyone looked at his bare left shoulder “I knew something was weird.”

“So what I don’t understand is why Loki didn’t use this time to try and invade?” Sam asked.

“He said it seemed boring anyway I could have dealt with it.” Clint sent her some strong side eye. “Okay I would have called Bobbi, and Deadpool, and like tried to contact Spiderman, and that devil of hell’s kitchen dude. But eventually I would have handled it.”

“Bobbi really she has to be your first call?”

“She may be your ex-wife Clint but she is like the only person I would know to call if shit went down and you and Nat were busy so.”

“Awww Katie-Kate I love you too.”

“Shut up Hawkguy.”

**Author's Note:**

> In case you were wondering what actual breed of do everyone is here is the list:  
> Steve: Long haired blond dachshund dog  
> Bucky: The prettiest pit bulls  
> Tony: Scotty  
> Nat: Borzoi  
> Bruce: Great Dane  
> Clint: Lab  
> Sam: Aussie Shepard  
> Rhodey: Rhodesian ridgeback  
> Thor: Caucasian shepherd
> 
> Also thank you to my little bean for making me write this is was fun. As always I am my own beta so all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Oh and the Russian is according to, google translate, "Fuck you" and "go fuck your self."  
> Thanks for reading. :)


End file.
